Jan 31st, 2013

The Vanishing Point

While on a recent trip to the coast Alivia snapped this polaroid of Jennie and I staring out into the mysterious and gloomy sea on a foggy day. When she showed it to me it seemed to perfectly encapsulate life for us right now. Our eyes are straining to see something that we can’t. The sun is hiding behind clouds and refusing to shine. Life is unfolding in muted colors and in a minor-key.

It has been six weeks since Lenya left this world. She is not gone, just out of our sight. In his book Heaven Randy Alcorn compared it to standing on a dock watching a ship sail away and head to the horizon. Though it seems like it is gone, when it finally disappears from sight, it is not. The ship hasn’t actually vanished, it has just gone somewhere else. To those at the port the vessel is heading to, it is just the opposite. The ship appears where you lost sight of it and grows as it draws near.

That is how we see this through the lens of faith. Our daughter set sail for Heaven 42 days ago. Though we can’t see her, we know that she is with the Lord. Her departure was also an arrival–a Homecoming.

Our eyes are teary and red, standing on the dock where we last saw her, struggling in vain to see even a small speck of her on the horizon. It feels like each day she is drifting further and further away and I hate the passing of time for it. I dread the thought that tomorrow it will have been 43 days since we snuggled and laughed and it seems she will slip away. In one sense that’s true, time is taking us away from our past together with her. But in another more real sense it is doing just the opposite. The day is quickly approaching when we will embark on the same voyage that she did and set sail for Heaven ourselves. As the hours and minutes pass we are getting closer and closer to our future together. Time is our friend, not our foe.

So even though it feels like “goodbye,” it’s actually, “see you soon.” And that brings great comfort to our melancholy hearts.

Posted in family, heaven, Lenya Lion, raw thoughts


  1. Beautiful. Reminds me of the “grey havens” of Lord of the Rings. Thank you for being so open with us all.i am constantly praying for you guys.

  2. Lisa Croteau Says:

    So powerful, such a beautiful picture of Faith and the Hope we hold onto in Christ, the Truth that this life is just a vapor in the context of Eternity, thank you for reminding us of this Truth, your family is breathtaking…. Blessings to you

  3. Lori B Says:

    <3 you guys! Praying for you all the time. Blessed to be involved in FLC and the impact that this ministry is having in our town and across the world.

  4. jonahjolie Says:

    Was reading in Rev 21…I love that chapter…it is what we are headed for…I love the Lord for leaving that chapter with us!!! He’s so good at leaving us hope in the midst of great saddness and grief…your little one in an indescrible environment where people ask no questions…there are only answers…there is no time passage in heaven…only eternity…it won’t seem like you were apart at all when you see her…It’s like giving birth…the pain is so intense…yet when you see the baby…the pain disappears…trying to reconcile these seemingly difficult physics is in heaven not a reality…His eye is on the sparrow…His eye is on your family…you all are a peircing on His hand…your family is beautiful in His eyes…He cries with you…praying for you all, Levi…Father, bless this little family in Montana…bless them with stregnth for each minute of each day of the rest of this year and the years to come…in memories, you bless with hope and a future…help momma in her grief…and sisters with the grief they feel in their little hearts…through their eyes bless them with beauty for ashes…and oil for mourning…In Jesus’s Name…Amen

  5. Jan Hammett Says:

    You have an amazing gift when sharing your inner most thoughts and feelings! You touch many every day and am sure you are serving as a wonderful role model for others who are struggling with difficulties. Your family continues to be in my thoughts and prayers.

  6. Karen Mateeff Says:

    Levi, that is a powerful message. Yes, we are one day closer to our eternal home. The home we all long for. You have wrote many powerful messages that hit home for many of us, but this one really hit me in the soul today. Just one day closer when we will celebrate eternity and time will never be an issue again. I’m constantly feeling as I don’t have enough of it here or maybe it is too much of it. No wonder it disturbs me so. Prayers for all of you always.

  7. Rebecca Miller Says:

    So powerful…and so honest…Thank you for sharing…

    I was one of the “ballet moms”…our family continues to hold you all in prayer…

    Praise God for the hope we have in Christ…and yet, even Jesus wept just before He, the Lord of life, raised Lazarus from the dead. He understands and weeps with you and Jennie and your girls.

  8. Valerie Scott Says:

    I have followed your journey from your beautiful daughter went to be with Jesus.
    Having walked my youngesr son into Heaven 4 yrs ago I understand your raw pain its so horrendous
    and some days I feel Im drowning BUT praise God we have hope & and one day we will be with our beautiful children again. I read Randy Alcorns book “In Light Of Eternity” it gives us such an assurance of all God has promised us in Eternity.
    I will continue to pray Gods protection over you both & your other children. I dont have answers why these awful things happen to us but God sees the bigger picture hes in control.
    Psalm 139 . & Jeremiah 29:11. XxxX

  9. Bonnie williamson Says:

    this world IS the valley, we all walk through, but we are not home yet . your little lion is.

  10. Michelle Riley Says:

    Thank you for sharing – your words remind us all that we are on a journey towards our permanent home with the Lord. The other day I was listening to the Message radio station on Sirius XM and Steven Curtis Chapman’s song came on…Heaven is the Face of my Little Girl. Don’t know if you have heard the song but he and his family faced the same heartache as yours and it’s a song about how he feels about his little girl. It’s beautiful and may minister to you. May the Lord continue to enfold you in His loving arms!

  11. Hogie Says:

    Pastor Levi’s, your words are becoming more poignant, purposeful and powerful as each day passes. Connie and I continue to lift you and Jennie in prayer.

  12. Jaime Solis Says:

    Praying for you guys always. We love you guys

  13. We are continuing to pray for your precious family all the way over here in Tennessee. Thank you for sharing your heart. <3

  14. John Barton Says:

    When Jesus told the parable of the butterfly, which I’m sure he would’ve, he rhetorically spoke saying ” for those with wings to fly prepare to soar!”

  15. Katrina Cuoco Says:

    Know that the pain is still present, and we are weeping with you Lusko family. We are also rejoicing with you for your faith, the joy that Lenya Avery is in heaven, and your strength. Ephesians 1:16(NIV)

    I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers.

  16. Helen Says:

    Great post, Levi. We know the sun will shine one day through that haze you are living in now. But more importantly the SON will never stop shining in you and through you! Keep the faith…may God make you ever stronger. Helen Davidson

  17. Allee Perez Says:

    I loved every word and the picture because it also gave me hope to not be afraid of dying but to look forward to my home in the future and all who will be there waiting for me as I get off the ship! Jesus will then extend His hand to mine and welcome me. Thank you Pastor Levi for your words of encouragement through your own pain of Lenya.

    God bless your family!!!

  18. Ray Bumgarner Says:

    Beautiful thoughts Levi… Thank you for sharing and we are all praying for you and your precious family.
    I love your analogy of our loved ones setting sail for a new location, a new horizon…all we can do is stand on the dock and wave goodbye for now.
    As I read your blog, I can’t help but ponder about each one of those ships that sets sail, is equipped and fixed with an anchor…
    “We have this as a sure and steadfast anchor of the soul, a hope that enters into the inner place behind the curtain…” Hebrews 6:19

  19. Norb and Deb Rossi Says:

    Dear Lusko family,
    We mourn with you the loss of your precious daughter. I have felt the same feelings when I lost my dear sister two years ago. Time does heal, but the ache remains. Praying for you daily that God will give you renewed strength and resolve for this awesome thing you have started with His guidance. Love your dear family, Deb and Norb Rossi Walla Walla

  20. Hi Levi,
    I’m sitting in a waiting room waiting for my girl to get out of surgery. She is having a suspicious growth removed from her scalp. As I sit here rummaging through my tweets I cam across Lenya Heitzigs post regarding your daughter and I am floored. You don’t know me and we will probably never meet until the Kingdom but my wife and I are in tears at your loss. I know you know where she is but I also know you’re a Dad. Please know we are praying for you and your bride.
    Jeff and Morgan Gallatin

  21. Patrick Powell Says:

    To the Luskos,

    I have no words. I have only an aching in my heart for you and your wife concerning the pain and sorrow over Lenya. My wife and family and I will keep you in our prayers and on our hearts as you walk through this more than difficult time. Know that you are a testament to God’s grace and strength to all as you share your hearts and heart-aches. We love you.

    The Powells

  22. Marissa Says:

    Thank you so much for sharing all of your feelings and thoughts with your daughter’s passing. Showing and sharing grief is so healing and even in reading your blogs….I can remember when my own dad died over 20 years ago and the emotions, and still missing him. Each day is farther from the last time I hugged him and closer to the day I get to hold him again! We are praying for you and your family continually.

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