Yesterday was one of those all-time milestone days in life. You only ever get to release your first book one time. We spent a lot of the day on airplanes but we were able to do something very special right after we arrived back in Montana. One of the themes in the book is running toward the roar — facing things you fear so they can’t chase you. The problem with running away from things you are frightened of is that they will always be right there ready to haunt you when you least expect it. We decided that one of the ways that we wanted to celebrate the launch of the book was to practice what I wrote about and face something that frightened us.
We hadn’t been back in the hospital Lenya was taken to the night she went to Heaven in two and a half years. I drive by it almost every day (which is hard enough) but hadn’t been back inside since the early morning hours of December 21, 2012. A few months ago the thought hit me that inevitably life would force my hand. Me or someone I love will eventually need stitches, have an accident or end up for some reason in the ER that will necessitate a trip to the place where we experienced a living nightmare. I decided that I would rather have our return be on our terms and by our choice. It is always better to happen to your life than to have your life happen to you.
We brought copies of our book with us for all the emergency room employees and with a prayer for strength parked our car and marched in through doors we came out in desperate shock on that cold winter’s night. Was it easy? No. Did we get somewhat stunned by flashbacks and even feel nauseous because of the way smells triggered memories? Yes. But am I glad we did it? Absolutely. Walking in there was scary, but now it has no power over me.
We also went to the emergency services building the ambulance we rode in the night Lenya went to heaven was deployed from, and brought copies of the book to the paramedics and firefighters serving there. The men on each end of this pic were part of the crew that answered the 911 call on December 20, 2012 that I talk about in chapter 3. They came to our aid when we needed them and fought for my daughter. For that I will always appreciate and honor them.
I don’t know what it will mean for you today but I pray God gives you the strength to run TOWARD the roar. Once you face what you are freaked out by you don’t have to live in fear of it.
Do you have a roar story to share? You can do that here. (Look for the panel that says submit your story.)
Have you bought the book yet? You can do that here.